(Matt Berninger voice) “In times of difficulty”...

First day back at work after the hols. Get up at 6:30, to give myself time to make a flask of coffee. Leave at 7:15. Make it to Canley at 7:29. I wonder for a moment which platform my train arrives at (yes, I know). Catch train at 7:31. Get off at Cov. Walk to platform 2. Put backpack on ground. Hear an audible crack. Turns out flask has broken. I feel like I should be aghast, but feel nothing. Take flask to bin. Train to Leam arrives at usual time. However, message on side of train reads “Nuneaton”. Board it anyway - I am on the correct platform for Leam, at the correct time. Hide in toilet, away from potential ticket inspectors. Stare at myself in mirror. Notice hair is strikingly bouffant after being washed last night. Arty shirt under crimson sweater is a good look. I do up top shirt button a la Bill Evans, but it looks a little contrived with the shirt not tucked in, so I undo it. Do it up again, undo it again. I look into my sad eyes. There’s a determined coldness about me. Train stops. I leave bog. Hear announcer say “This stop is (something that doesn’t sound like Kenilworth). Next stop is Nuneaton”. Huh? I get off train. I recognise nothing. Get back on train, then off again. No time to ask anyone where we are, or where the train is headed. Train leaves without me. I find I am at Kenilworth station, and realise I should have stayed on. Now I’m angry. Next train to leam arrives in an hour. Oh well. Just means I won’t be able to teach so many of the lessons owed from last week. I leave the station and find I am on the familiarly named “Waverley Road”. Then I walk past what looks like, and in fact, turns out to be, Lucy’s house. I check her WhatsApp status - active 2 minutes ago - and I message her to say what’s happened, asking if she’s up yet - not to see if I can bag a lift, though - just for a chat, but knowing her, she’d probably offer me a lift anyway. “Am in Morocco!” she replies. I leave a heart reaction, and walk back to the station.


So here I am now at 8:54. Train should arrive in 13min. Wish me luck, or the breaking of a leg. Or both.

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